


Smoke On Your Tongue

by LightningClawedSky



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's
Genre: After sex scene nothing graphic, Canon - Anime Dub, It later leads to bad coping mechanisms, Kalin tries to get Yusei to try a cigarette, M/M, Peer Pressure, Underage Smoking, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, unedited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 05:28:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20130103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightningClawedSky/pseuds/LightningClawedSky
Summary: Kalin has had his smoking habit for as long as he can remember, as long as Yusei can remember too. Over the years, Kalin offers Yusei a few cigarettes, even as he loses himself-- and when Yusei loses Kalin, he doesn't know what to do or where to go to find some familiarity.





	Smoke On Your Tongue

**Author's Note:**

> I don't recommend smoking at all, especially if you're underage. The cons heavily outweigh the pros and you're prone to a lot of negative health conditions.
> 
> Heavily based on some headcanons I have yet to post to my RP blog on tumblr, hyperdrivehearts.
> 
> Unedited as always.

If you asked, Kalin wouldn't be able to tell you how long he's been smoking; all he'd be able to offer you would be a shug, not even a cigarette. You can't really blame him for it, however. Cigarettes were traded like they were gold; tobacco and alcohol always caught a high price in Satellite-- one could very easily find themselves in debt if they had an  _ addiction _ they needed to maintain. For Kalin, at least, he couldn't afford more than a pack or two a month, and he  _ had _ to make it last.

When Yusei asked how long Kalin's been inhaling the nicotine laced smoke, Kalin shrugged. "Probably sometime after my mom died, I don't really know."

"Wasn't it after you met me? I don't remember you smoking at the start of our friendship." Yusei's voice was lined with worry. He couldn't imagine it was very healthy, especially by the way it smelled, the stench made him stomach turn over and his tongue felt stuck in the back of his throat the more second hand fumes he breathed in. 

The smoking habit of Kalin's was probably the only thing Yusei didn't like, and that fact made him ashamed. He liked so much about Kalin, he idolized and pined after the other young teen without realizing it-- they were only about 13 and still figuring themselves out. Although, it seemed as if Kalin had figured out he liked the nicotine quite early. 

"Maybe it was after. I said I didn't really know, Yus'."

The irrational part of Yusei wanted to ask if he had any part of contributing to Kalin's habits, but he kept his mouth shut. Even if he did open it to say something, anything, he would have been interrupted by Kalin leaning himself over the table, head resting in his hand and a slowly burning cigarette between his lips (although they never seemed to last long enough,) and the freshly open pack in his other hand. He shook it gently, the 12 remaining cigarettes rattling in the box.

" _ Want _ one?"

He didn't offer just  _ anyone _ a cigarette. Yusei was so much  _ more _ than an 'anyone'. He was  _ someone _ .

"Ah, no. I'm good, thank you." Yusei politely declined, but he couldn't help but wrinkle his nose in displeasure. Kalin let out a chuckle.

"More for me, then."

* * *

The second time Kalin offered Yusei a cigarette, it has been a while from the first, maybe two years, maybe less, maybe more. Yusei had gotten used to the smell; it followed Kalin like a ghost afterall, and when he hugged Kalin, the smoke hugged him too.

Yusei could admit he only liked it because everytime the smoke stung his nose, he thought of Kalin and his laughter that would spill out of his mouth as he took a drag of his cigarette, just ever so slightly tinted with mania. He'd look at Yusei, and grin, and the younger of the two would return a soft smile, as if it was something special being shared between the two of them.

Yusei thought Kalin sounded the best when he was laughing. He sounded happy, he sounded  _ satisfied _ .

The two were on the roof, laughing and enjoying themselves. Kalin talked about uniting Satellite, the excited words jumbling and dropping out of his mouth, and Yusei picking up every syllable as he listened intently. In between sharing their dreams, they shared quick kisses and small giggles. It was some of the better parts of their lives, trying to look at the stars and future, despite the smog and smoke that washed over their home.

Yusei had an arm wrapped around the other, and his head on Kalin's chest, rising and falling with every breath of the silvery haired male. Kalin's arm was lazily across the back of Yusei's shoulders, and Yusei couldn't help but think how perfect the moment was, and how perfect he and Kalin seemed to be for each other.

Yusei found himself nearly falling asleep, eyelids struggling to stay open, until he felt Kalin moving underneath him. Somehow he managed to pull his cigarettes and a lighter out of his back pocket with only one hand. Yusei groggily thought about how the mood was ruined, letting out a noise so where between a grunt and a groan.

"I thought you fell asleep."

"Not yet, but I was  _ close _ ." Yusei closed his eyes and felt Kalin's hand run apologetically through his black locks. 

"Want to share a smoke with me then?" He shook the box, smoke spilling out of his mouth from the freshly lit cigarette as he spoke.

"I'm good."

Yusei could feel Kalin shift underneath him, shrugging, probably. "Would a kiss make you feel better, then?"

The raven haired teen let out a snort of amusement, lips pulling back into a gentle smirk. "Maybe."

Yusei never kissed Kalin as he was smoking. The thought was oddly intimate, to have Kalin put aside his burning cigarette just for Yusei. It almost  _ seemed _ romantic, in the weird way that Satellite often defined romance as.

He could say the smoke smelled like home; it smelled like Kalin. Sure, it smelled bad, but Yusei had quickly grown find of the scent because of association.

Thee taste  _ however _ , oh  _ god _ , there was a brief moment where Yusei thought he'd taste the sourness in his tongue for the rest of the week, if not the month. He found himself quickly pulling away, suppressing a gag.

He'd  _ never _ understand how someone could stand the taste.

* * *

Yusei liked every single moment he had with Kalin, but the ones where they lay together in bed, covered in sweat, exhausted and spent, were his favorite. Kalin's body was stained with the smell of smoke, and in those precious moments following ecstasy and intimacy, the scent stained Yusei too. 

It felt romantic.

Yusei's face was pressed against Kalin's chest. He didn't mind the sweat. He's gotten used to it; just like he got used to the smell of cigarettes after sex. It was just his normal.

Yusei felt Kalin shift underneath him, the taller male letting out an annoyed grunt. "I think we knocked my lighter off the table."

Yusei couldn't help but feel a small sting of annoyance. The moment was so perfect, so peaceful, a harsh contrast to the aberration that seemed to seep out of Kalin's cracks more and more every day. He sat back with a hum to hide the annoyance he felt guilty of, silently watching as Kalin's pale body moved around in the low light, searching for his lighter.

"Found it."

There was a flick of the thumb, and a pale glow from the flame as it burned the end of the cigarette into a crisp ember, before vanishing again. Kalin leaned back into the ratty bed, taking a long drag and exhaling in thought, looking directly at Yusei. "You know…" He trailed off, looking away.

"What?" 

Kalin glanced back, a smirk pulling at his lips as he tapped the cigarette ashes off beside the bed, a mischievous glint in his golden eyes. 

"Just thinking."

Yusei exhaled a soft sigh. He could hardly tell what Kalin was thinking these days. His mood swings were back and forth like a pendulum; elated mania after a fist fight falling into a miserable depression. Kalin didn't hide his expressions, each emotion written on his face in the clearest of details, yet, his thoughts were jumbled. He couldn't get from point A to point B without detouring a few letters down the alphabet-- M, G, maybe an S. Yusei wish he could understand the other like how he used to; Kalin's thoughts were choppy at best. Yusei still wanted to stay by his side regardless; he wanted to  _ understand _ .

"About?"

Kalin sat up, the smirk seeming to grow. "Thinking about how you'd look cute with a cigarette between your lips."

Yusei's posture went rigid, surprised. He shouldn't have expected anything  _ but _ Kalin's blunt honesty, but he couldn't help but silently open and close his mouth, unsure of what to say-- what  _ do _ you even say?

_ "Though," _ a hum followed by a giggle as Kalin leaned in close. "You'd probably look  _ cuter _ with my tongue between them instead.~"

_ "Kalin!" _

The taller male let out a laugh at Yusei's playful push, letting himself fall back onto the mattress, still giggling with no end in sight. "Okay, okay!" He chuckled. "But I'm  _ serious _ , you already look so  _ damn adorable, _ Yusei, this would make you look so much better!  _ Oh--!" _

Yusei raised an eyebrow, an expression of a mix of confusion, concern and cautious  _ curiosity _ on his face. When Kalin got an idea, he was intent on following through with it, which Yusei didn't normally mind, but it involved  _ him _ .

"You can't finish a whole cigarette,  _ can you?" _ Yusei could already feel the knot in his stomach forming, but forced himself to listen intently, or rather, he couldn't stop himself from listening. A voice at the back of his head knew what was coming, edging him on.  _ He said you'd look cute with a cigarette in your lips, didn't he? _

"Here,  _ here _ ," the words were speeding along with excitement as the silvery haired male grinned. He held out the cigarette in front of Yusei's face, a mere few centimeters from the tan male's pursed lips. "You can have a drag from my cig if you'd like! We can share it, and if you don't want to smoke more, I can finish it off then! That doesn't seem  _ wasteful _ , does it, Yusei?"

Would that make Kalin happy? Yusei looked down at the burning cigarette held between Kalin's pale fingers and back up at Kalin's excited face. He liked Kalin best when he was happy; he didn't want to see the disappointment on his face, even if it would be shrouded in the dark.

Yusei looked back at the cigarette. Sharing a cigarette, huh? It was like a shared kiss on a piece of rolled up tobacco and chemicals. 

It was  _ almost _ romantic.

Hesitantly, Yusei leaned forwards, lips wrapping around the orange filter, barely pressing against Kalin's fingers as he gently inhaled. 

If there was a technique to breathing in the smoke, Yusei didn't know it. Eyes were flickering back and forth between looking at the cigarette and looking at the elated glee on Kalin's face. It burned, it burned so much that Yusei found his eyes watering up and Yusei found himself to cry; but the burning was so much  _ better _ than the taste, but he hated it all the same.

The taste was somehow worse than when he kissed Kalin after a smoke, worse than what he expected-- it was stronger, like he had something between ground up rubber tires and gunpowder in his mouth, completed with a sting of copper and all the unpleasantries of the chemicals that had to be jam packed in those paper wrapped sticks. 

His mouth felt dry, and before he realized it, Yusei had pulled back, coughing and coughing with stray smoke spilling out of his mouth. The tears started to involuntarily run down his face as he blinked, like he had eaten something that was too spicy and started to tear up (and in a way, he had.)

Yusei wiped the corners of his eyes, looking up at Kalin, hoping that even though he messed up, he pleased the other. Kalin's face was concerned, but as soon as Yusei regained his composure, the grin spread across his face once again.

"Ha! Look at you, taking your first drag! Don't worry, don't worry, I think we're all like that when we start-- you get used to it!!" Kalin laughed, pressing his mouth against Yusei's momentarily, smoke stained lips against smoke stained lips. As he pulled away, still laughing, he liked Yusei's nose. "But I was right, you  _ were _ cute!"

Yusei smiled weakly.

It had been worth it.

Though, he  _ still _ didn't understand how anyone could stand the taste.

* * *

Yusei wasn't sure how his shaking hands got a hold of the small box of cigarettes; he really didn't know what to do with himself these days. He tossed and turned it over in his hands, analyzing the beat up box. It was the same brand Kalin had liked while he was around.

While he was  _ alive _ .

"Looks like you got a cravin'!" The merchant had laughed, grinning with a mouth that was missing teeth and others were stained black. 

_ I do,  _ was what Yusei had wanted to say.  _ But it's not for what you're thinking about. _

Yusei didn't crave the nicotine, he didn't crave the smoke, he craved a  _ person _ . He was sick of smelling the smoke on the streets, memories plaguing his mind. Ease his nerves with warmth, that's all he asked for. He couldn't bring Kalin back. He couldn't save him from security, he couldn't save him from death-- Yusei thought that maybe he could at least save and saviour the memories.

He certainly hasn't been himself since he heard the news that Kalin had died in the Facility. Yusei tried so hard to visit, to apologize, to explain himself and maybe cry a little as he explained his broken and punctured heart. Yusei wanted what was best, but this wasn't it, not by a long shot. He wished so hard that things could go back to the way they were.

Young.

Happy.

On top of the world.

Yusei closed his tired blue eyes, letting out a shaky sigh. He might cry again. He knows Kalin died hating him, and there wasn't anything he'd be able to do about it. 

Kalin died with Yusei's love.

Really, what  _ was _ he without the other? 

A duo, a pair, that's what they were when they were together. Devotion and love that had turned sour towards the end, but dammit it was always there, Yusei always loved with his whole heart no matter what.

Perhaps when Kalin died, he took Yusei's heart along with his love.

Yusei didn't even realize his view of the cigarette box was becoming blurry due to the tears leaking out of his eyes.  _ What the hell was he doing? _

Opening the box, he took a long look at the cigarettes, imagining Kalin's glee at having a fresh pack as they sat together on the curb of the decaying streets of Satellite. Yusei would look at Kalin, watch with a deep appreciation as Kalin took his first drag of the cigarette and giggled. It was a shared moment between them, just them. Kalin always took Yusei to the merchants to get his fix, and Yusei would always look at the stalls with parts and thrown away technology, ideas of projects filling Yusei's mind as smoke filled Kalin's lungs.

_ What was he doing? _

_ What was he doing? _

It hurt him to open the lighter, it was Kalin's afterall, metal and old fashioned. Durable; Yusei had actually fixed it multiple times for the other. The end of the cigarette burned, maybe a bit too long, but Yusei thought he watched Kalin light enough cigarettes to know what to do. He'd get the hang of it soon enough, it wouldn't be his first cigarette, and it would be far from his last 

The smoke laced with cancer and nicotine wrapped around him like a warm blanket. He took a long drag, watching the merchants with teary eyes.

Yusei no longer minded the taste.

It tasted like home.

It tasted like Kalin.

Cigarette in his hand, Yusei cried, wishing for the familiarity of a lost love in more than the smoky haze of memories.


End file.
